True Colors

So those of us who live here in San Francisco pretty much know that MUNI runs this city! With over 686,000 riders a day, if something goes wrong we're all screwed. This means forget about arriving to work on time. Your boss may look at his watch when you walk in late, and you only need utter, "MUNI" and all is forgiven. It's just an unwritten rule that "MUNI" is the universally accepted excuse any time you are running late, no matter the time of day or what you may be late for. In the evening this also means forget about those dinner plans you had, picking your kids up from daycare, walking the dog, running errands, etc...You are now in a game of Amazing Race/Survivor where you must figure out how to get where you're going and outwit, outplay, and outlast the other 685,999 riders.

If you're not familiar with how the underground trains run in San Francisco, it is quite simple: one way into downtown, and one way out. That is, only one rail in either direction. So a breakdown six stops from where you are could bring your commute to a screeching halt. This just happened to be the case last night. There were no trains moving in either direction between downtown and the Castro St. station. Every once in a blue moon (or maybe every lunar eclipse since it just so happens to coincide with my story), all hell will break loose and the entire system of underground trains will shut down. That's right, SHUT DOWN! Without warning, reason, or alternative solution...those of us who depend on MUNI to get from point A to point B are left to our own devices to figure out the path of least resistance home...or at least the path of less aggravation.

Now most of you would think, why not just take a cab? When these complete shutdowns occur, cabs become as scarce as an Ivory-Billed Woodpecker (look it up!). Not only are they impossible to find, but the $30 cab fare on top of my $62 monthly MUNI pass is out of the question. So the only options are walking (and let's be real..with these hills? That's not gonna happen!), taking a bus above ground, or succumbing to whatever "alternative" the fine folks at MUNI have come up with. With all trust in MUNI shot at this point, I decided to go it alone and wait for a bus. Waiting for a bus means standing on Market St. with throngs of other people in the afternoon chill and trying to force myself onto an already overcrowded vehicle. Have you ever seen pictures/video from third world countries where there will be like 86 people piled into the back of a truck with people actually sitting on the roof and others holding onto the rear bumper for dear life? Well, it's the same concept on a larger scale. All dignity, politeness, and humanity go right out the window!

So, I'm waiting for the #71L bus. The "L" stands for "Limited" which means it makes fewer stops between downtown and its final destination. You could also call it the "express" bus, but not last night. No. Last night the "L" could have stood for "Lame", "Lazy", or most likely "LOST"! I waited about 50 minutes for the #71L bus that should have come in 3 minutes and never arrived! Oh sure, there were plenty of other buses (see the picture below where there are buses backed up as far as the eye can see), just none that make the arduous hour long trip to the Outer Sunset where I live. The Outer Sunset is exactly what it sounds like...waaaayyyyy out there where the sun sets!

Finally, after much waiting and baring the cold wind I decided to give in and take the MUNI "alternative" which was a shuttle bus from downtown to the Castro St. station. As the shuttle bus approached, I jockeyed for position closest to where the door would open so that I might have a chance to get on board. Once the doors slammed opened, the following exchange took place:

• ME: "Driver, are you going to the Castro?"
• DRIVER: "Where are you trying to go?"
• ME: "Home....to West Portal/Outer Sunset"
• DRIVER: "Well I'm only going as far as the Castro and then you will need to transfer". 
• ME: "Transfer to what? The train or another bus?"
• DRIVER: "UGH...the TRAIN!"
• ME: "I thought the trains were down"
• DRIVER: "They are."
• ME: "How am I going to get on a train if they are DOWN?!?!"
• DRIVER: "They are running from Castro outbound".
• DRIVER: "You can't get on a train down here because they are down and so you need to get on the shuttle bus"
• ME: "That's what I'm trying to DO! OBVIOUSLY I know the trains are DOWN...There's a million people on the street and I've been waiting over an HOUR for a bus!! OBVIOUSLY  no one would ever CHOOSE to wait that long in the cold for something that doesn't come!"

Yes, I unleashed on the driver...I know he's the messenger and that he has a job to do. I know that it wasn't his fault that the whole system got shut down. I know he was probably as tired of repeating the same answer over and over to weary passengers as I was tired of waiting...However, at that moment he was MUNI. I stomped down the aisle and tried to avoid the whispers and sideways glances of my fellow passengers and settled into an empty seat. I put my headphones on (to deter any and all freaks from approaching me) and as if my iPod was picking the perfect song to be a soundtrack for my life at that moment, Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" started playing. Yes, Cyndi, you (and everyone on the bus) saw my "true colors shining through". Thanks for the guilt trip. I'm not proud of it, Cyndi. But sometimes after a 2 hour and 15 min. commute, "girls just wanna get home"!

Yours Truly


Almost forgot....Here is this week's SAM (Sleeping Asian Man)...enjoy!