When we arrived at Castro, they exited the train in a mad dash...and really, who can blame them? Stay on a stinky crowded tin can of a train, or get out at the Castro station? Kind of a no brainer. It was then that it occurred to me that I really haven't said a whole lot in this blog about the particular MUNI stations that the train services, and that I would like to go into detail about each of these stops...some are awesome like the Castro, and some I find myself wondering, who are these people that get off at Forest Hill?? Forest Hill is so....well, "blah" for lack of a better word! So I will fill you in on each of the underground stations starting from the first inbound station and going outbound....as if you were headed home (if home were the Outer Sunset where I live) from working downtown. If you refer back to my very first post, there is a small MUNI map at the end of the post if you care to follow along....
The Embarcadero
The Embarcadero is the first underground MUNI stop and it is located right next to the Bay. People get on or off at the Embarcadero if they work at the Gap, since the Gap headquarters is right there. They also use the Embarcadero station on the weekends to go to the super hipster, kid-toting yuppie, overpriced, crowded, but yet most amazing farmer's market at the Ferry Building. Yes, I have a love-hate relationship with the Ferry Building Farmer's Market. It is filled with yuppies pushing their thousand dollar strollers with a Peet's coffee cup in one hand, and a yoga mat rolled up under their arm like some kind of suburban rocket propelled grenade launcher....However, they have the most amazing cheese shop there and I will do just about ANYTHING for a good cheese! The Ferry Building also happens to be right across the street from "Occupy SF". So if you were to visit the city now, instead of enjoying the view of Gap Headquarters, you would now gaze upon a city of tents, port a potties, and police in riot gear while the smell of hippie douche (some call it patchouli) and raw sewage waft through the air. This is also the stop that you are most likely to get a seat on the train because it is the first stop to board all outbound trains. It also happens to be the stop where a good friend of mine fell onto the MUNI tracks! You read that correctly...FELL onto the tracks and lived to tell about it! She did get hurt (but has recovered now), and luckily was not run over by a train! I definitely have to save this story for another post...However, every time I am on the Embarcadero platform, I can't help but look down into the "Pit of Death" and onto the tracks and imagine the horror of falling onto them. And even though it happened months ago, I always look onto the tracks for any remnants of my friend...a piece of her torn jeans, a lock of blond hair...her bruised and battered dignity...
Montgomery
So this is the stop where I get on and off every day on my way to and from work. This is in the heart of the Financial District (or "FiDi"...if you're a douchey hipster). This is where the majority of suits get off in the morning on their way to work. It's also the "blue station" because when you're on the platform (or on the train) in this station, all of the walls are painted blue. It's pretty boring as far as stations go, except that it has a Peet's coffee right in the middle of the station! So every morning I am tempted by smells of rocket fuel-like coffee and pastries wafting down the stairs and onto the platform as soon as I exit the train. It's also the station where you will see and hear buskers of all sorts...some playing the guitar, possibly a string quartet, saxophone, or that weird Asian stringed instrument that looks vaguely like a banjo but sounds like a cat stuck in a box fan.
Powell
This stop looks exactly like the Montgomery station only everything is painted red instead of blue. This is the popular stop with all of the tourists because it stops right in the heart of the city and is close to the cable cars. The underground station actually connects to the mall. So on any given day and time there will be people milling about with their Forever 21, Macy's, and Victoria Secret bags...Just about everyone who gets off at Powell station in the morning works in retail...And anyone getting on the train after work usually reeks of Cinnabon cinnamon or that putrid fragrance that Abercrombie & Fitch pump out into the mall...you know, the one that smells like white underage teenagers scantily clad in overpriced t-shirts and ripped jeans? Yeah, that one.
Civic Center
This stop is supposed to have some kind of regal feeling to it. There are pictures of city hall on the station walls and just the name "Civic Center" evokes some sort of "political" feeling. I mean it is at the United Nations Plaza, which would make you think of peace and people of different cultures all living in harmony. You would think that, but in actuality this is the station where you are most likely to get asked for spare change, drugs, or witness a homeless person peeing in the station....also where you are most likely to get shot. That's right, shot. It happens. Especially if you're a homeless vagrant approaching the transit police with a knife in one hand and a broken bottle in the other. Believe it. It happened. And for some reason, I always seem to get turned around and borderline lost in this station. It seems REALLY long and I never know what escalator to take to get to the right side of the street once I am above ground!
Van Ness
Van Ness station has always had this weird feel to me. It's between Civic Center and Church stations, but there's nothing really remarkable about it. It feels REALLY small when you're standing on the platform. No one ever seems to get off there in the morning, but there are always people there waiting to get on the train to go home at night. Where do they come from?? Most of the action at Van Ness is at the street level. I only use Van Ness station if I am going to get my hair done in Hayes Valley, or going to the Goodwill flagship store. That's right...a flagship store for Goodwill. I guarantee you that it's the largest Goodwill you've ever seen. There's even a cafe inside called "Shakes and Jitters"...which is coincidentally what happens to you if you spend too much time shopping in the Goodwill. There's always homeless guys at the street level selling random items that they "found" (or stole...probably from the Goodwill)...they're nice homeless guys though. I always receive compliments from them like, "Dayyyum, girl...you WAY too much woman for one man to handle. I can help you out wit dat!"...Oh, Van Ness station, you always make a girl feel great about herself. *sigh*
Church
Church Street station is what I like to call "Castro Station's little bitch". Why? Because Church station looks exactly like Castro Station when you are underground, but it is no where near as fabulous as Castro. The motif is brick with orange signs and fairly modern looking, but it will never be Castro. The Church Street station is also known as the "Upper Safeway" station. Why? Because there is a HUGE Safeway supermarket right there once you come above ground. It's also called the "Gay Safeway". It's open 24 hours and it is not uncommon to see several bar revelers picking up deli meat at 3 in the morning. Whatever...I ADORE that Safeway. They have the best produce section and if you're lucky you might even see a drag show. Believe it. I've seen dancing drag queens bust out a "Donna Summer comeback tour review" in the frozen food section after midnight!
Castro
Ah, yes...Castro Street station. The station that all other MUNI stations aspire to be. In the morning it smells like freshly showered men in crisp linens shirts with a hint of designer cologne. It's intoxicating...At night it's the stop where EVERYONE gets off..everyone except those of us "Breeders" who live out in the Sunset. Maybe this is my favorite station because it's the gateway to my favorite neighborhood with my favorite kind of people...maybe it's because there's a HUGE beautiful rainbow flag that waves in the breeze to greet you when you come above ground...maybe it's because the entry way into the station is named, "Harvey Milk Plaza" and there are pictures of Harvey and a plaque dedicated to him...I just always feel better, almost instantly, when I get off at the Castro station. The rainbow flag, the majestic Castro theater, the sex shops, the feeling of freedom and acceptance, the smell coming from Hot Cookie across the street, the naked guys sunning themselves by the flag pole....Honestly, what's NOT to love?
Forest Hill
*YAWN*....Forest Hill is a bore. Period. It feels like you are a mile underground when the train stops at the station. It feels very cavernous and it has an ENDLESS amount of stairs to get up to the street level. Seriously, if the elevators are broken, you're screwed. You will most definitely be late to wherever it is that people go when they get off at Forest Hill. It's also covered in tile...not nice tile, but like public restroom tile. It smells like one too and is often covered in graffiti. No one EVER gets on or off at Forest Hill...well, except for the juvenile delinquents who need to report to their parole officers at the newly built Juvenile Hall, and in that case you can't wait for these trouble makers to shut up, pull their pants up, and get the hell off the train!
West Portal
West Portal is an interesting station. It's half underground and half above ground at street level. It is the "portal to the west" side of the city. It's kind of trippy to see a big hole in the side of the hill that the train comes in and out of. It's also not unheard of to see a car make a wrong turn at the street level and try and drive into the tunnel...even though there are train tracks, flashing lights, and huge signs in English warning you to DO NOT ENTER. This is the stop where the steps inside the train go from platform level to street level...or you better hope they do, because if they don't it's a LONG way down to the street if you have to get off the train. I've seen it. I've seen the doors open at a stop and people literally jump off the train. And once one person does it, everyone else follows...like lemmings jumping off a cliff. I've also seen the train pull into the station at street level and forget to raise the steps to platform level and people step into the open stairwell and face plant themselves on the floor of the train...not unlike walking into an empty elevator shaft...only instead of falling several stories to your death, you fall a few feet onto a bunch of steps where you could die of embarrassment. Coincidentally, West Portal is also the station that I use for the background wall paper on this blog.
So there you have it, the underground Muni stations in a nutshell...and there are soon to be more as the city is building a new underground tunnel going North/South from Giants Stadium into Chinatown...so in the future when the trains are really crowded, you could actually say to someone as the push to get by you, "Hey! Back off! It's not the last boat to China" and actually kind of mean it.
Here's your SAM of the week:
Yours Truly
